I stayed in Wolverhampton for a couple of weeks, soaking up the summer sun

(it was gorgeous and utterly un-English, and we got in some spa time https://flic.kr/p/AQqfLr)

And getting to know my uncles family, kids and grandkids mostly. I won’t share pictures of the kids because my step cousins don’t want them online, but I played with the littlest ones for hours. They’re adorable and a pile of fun. We took the middle two to see How to Train Your Dragon 2 (I absolutely didn’t cry…that’s a lie) later in the week.

There were a few rocky missteps in there – We’ve never met my Aunty’s husband in person before and there was a bit of adjusting to be done, but we managed. It’s water under the bridge; he means well, but he’s not very good at expressing anything or coping with change. We got there in the end though.

It was strange, going from living out of home, to being back at home the two nights before I left, to leaving, to suddenly having this extended family in less than a week. Absolutely wasn’t what I expected. But that was the best possible surprise.

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Before I knew it though it was time to get the train up to Liverpool, where I’d be spending most of my time. My dads side of the family, who live up there, I’d spent 3 weeks with in the summer when I was 15 and in Europe with school.

All of the alluded to teenage kind of things had happened to me since then – at 21 I barely recognise 15 year old me. I’m awkward in different ways and calmer in others. I know myself better (even more so now). I was worried about intruding – evidently this is a common theme for me. It’s where most of my awkwardness manifests itself, actually.

It was easy in some ways and not so in others. My Aunty and youngest cousin (19) picked me up from Runcorn station around 1pm; we hugged and chatted about menial things in the 10 minute ride back to Grandma’s.

The village looked pretty much like I remembered it; little post office and cottages, bigger bungalows and then down the road towards the airport the thatched houses that Grandma despises because they push the council tax rate up.

Seeing them was great. Spending time with them was great. But they have a dynamic that is utterly foreign to me in that they’re so tight knit and close to each other. It’s absolutely not a bad thing. But I don’t – and have never – had that. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be included in things like that, whether to shove myself in or keep my distance. The first few days I was there were confusing, and brought on the first real feeling of anything like homesickness. I missed my friends, more than anything. My two closest friends also come from very tight knit families, so that left them out as far as knowing what to do went.

My biggest vice in life is worrying too much about what other people think of me and the things that I do. I’m trying to be better at it. It’s kind of a time will tell deal though. If I could do it again now I don’t know what would change. Maybe I’d be more outgoing and ask things instead of assuming. But it was a strange time, trying to adjust.